Reading Comey's Farewell Letter

Wednesday, CNN shared James Comey's brief farewell letter. The Mary Sue dissects the letter. It is hilarious and spot-on. A few favorite sections:

To all:

I’M OFFICIALLY NAILING THIS SHIT TO THE CHURCH DOOR LIKE MARTIN LUTHER

I have long believed that a President can fire an FBI Director for any reason, or for no reason at all.

IN CASE IT’S NOT PERFECTLY CLEAR I’M THE LATTER CASE Y’ALL OR ELSE I WOULDN’T HAVE MENTIONED IT

It is done, and I will be fine, although I will miss you and the mission deeply.

I’M NOT FINE I’M NOT FINE I’M BARELY KEEPING IT TOGETHER DID Y’ALL HEAR HOW THAT SONNOVABITCH IN CHIEF WAITED UNTIL I WAS OUT OF THE STATE TO FIRE ME AND SENT HIS PERSONAL BODYGUARD WITH A NOTE TO FBI HEADQUARTERS EVEN THOUGH I WASN’T THERE LIKE THAT IS SOME DOWNTON ABBEY SHIT YOU’RE GONNA MAKE THE BUTLER DO YOUR DIRTYWORK AND SEND A MCFRICKEN NOTE AS THOUGH ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL DIDN’T SOLVE THIS COMMUNICATION PROBLEM IN 1876 FUCK

Working with you has been one of the great joys of my life. Thank you for that gift.

IF I EVER MEANT ANYTHING TO YOU MY G-MEN AND G-WOMEN YOU WILL BURN THIS MOTHER DOWN